Things that make me go hhhhmmmm.....I realized this weekend, after something was mentioned about this time last year(that I couldn't remember)...
that I had blocked out everything after the one "life-changing" day I had last August. It has been a year since I learned that all important lesson. A year of learning how some people truly feel about me. A year of pretending that it didn't hurt being called "white trailer trash" by a "family" member & being told I'm not really family cuz I'm not blood. That one day changed my life forever. It could've changed my life even more if the stress from that situation had caused anything to happen to my precious Luke. I have to say...I don't think I could've forgiven anyone involved if something would've happened to him. Honestly, I even think Wayne would've been angry & unforgiving as well. What a difference a year makes! I still go & "pretend" I don't know the things I do.....takes a LOT of my acting skills sometimes(which would make my cousin Barry proud...lol)...I just go, grin & bear it! Some of my friends are amazed that I can do it at all. I just say, sometimes it's not bad; others requires a little more "tongue-biting" etc on my part. Now don't get me wrong, I can get along w/those involved BUT I'm always, constantly "on my guard". I don't say everything I'd like to say...for fear it comes back to bite me(how everything started last year...said something, words were twisted, re-told totally wrong , & thus the literal day from hell in my life). I guard all my thoughts & words now, no matter who I'm around...this is kind of sad(in a way) but it seems to be the best way for me to handle it.
I can finally say(@ least on this subject); LESSON LEARNED!!!
