Things that make you go hhhhmmmm

Things that make me go hhhhmmmm.....I realized this weekend, after something was mentioned about this time last year(that I couldn't remember)...
that I had blocked out everything after the one "life-changing" day I had last August. It has been a year since I learned that all important lesson. A year of learning how some people truly feel about me. A year of pretending that it didn't hurt being called "white trailer trash" by a "family" member & being told I'm not really family cuz I'm not blood. That one day changed my life forever. It could've changed my life even more if the stress from that situation had caused anything to happen to my precious Luke. I have to say...I don't think I could've forgiven anyone involved if something would've happened to him. Honestly, I even think Wayne would've been angry & unforgiving as well. What a difference a year makes! I still go & "pretend" I don't know the things I do.....takes a LOT of my acting skills sometimes(which would make my cousin Barry proud...lol)...I just go, grin & bear it! Some of my friends are amazed that I can do it at all. I just say, sometimes it's not bad; others requires a little more "tongue-biting" etc on my part. Now don't get me wrong, I can get along w/those involved BUT I'm always, constantly "on my guard". I don't say everything I'd like to say...for fear it comes back to bite me(how everything started last year...said something, words were twisted, re-told totally wrong , & thus the literal day from hell in my life). I guard all my thoughts & words now, no matter who I'm around...this is kind of sad(in a way) but it seems to be the best way for me to handle it.
I can finally say(@ least on this subject); LESSON LEARNED!!!

THE BOYS

sitting up all by his self crawling thru the "playhouse"

up close & personal trying to escape

watching tv in the playroom ready for his close up

distracted by tv program day 1 put self down for nap

day 2 putting self down for nap...also put self to bed that way....sweet!!!

These are the latest pics of my darling, sweet boys. They play fairly well together. Luke loves to be wherever his big brother is & will follow him all over. Matthew loves to play w/Luke but sometimes forgets that he is still "small" & fragile.

We are laying odds that Luke will surpass Matthew size-wise in the next 6-9 months. Right now, he's 7lbs lighter & 7" shorter.....& growing like a weed.

I'm so glad I was able to stay home after having Luke. I see how much I missed of Matthew's first year. BUT...I'm getting to see it all w/Luke & also watch both my boys change & grow from day to day. I love it!!!

CRAWLING

Matthew loves to get down on the floor & crawl with his baby brother. It's funny how different each child is....Matthew army crawled on his belly the whole time(never lifted up)....Luke crawls a little on his belly but also lifts up but doesn't crawl hands & knees....lol

They are both growing so fast. It's hard to believe that one is almost 25 months & the other is 7 months old. Time flies!! It seems just like yesterday I was waking Wayne up telling him I was pregnant w/Matthew.